


Bugbear Biology

by marmeladeafterdark (Marmeladeskies)



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Anal Sex, Dungeons and Dicks, Interspecies Sex, Knotting, M/M, PWP, Rimming, Taako has needs, Various bodily fluids, dub con I guess?, enormous amounts of cum, just so much cum, probably not canon compliant but who cares, this is entirely self-indulgent and don't @me I know this is problematic, we all know you came here for the porn and so did I
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 21:42:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19754341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marmeladeskies/pseuds/marmeladeafterdark
Summary: Taako has needs. Klarg can help with that.





	Bugbear Biology

**Author's Note:**

> So. Yeah. I have nothing to say for myself. This is entirely self-indulgent and takes place at some point after Petals to the Metal.

Taako tried not to ask himself why he was doing what he was doing right now. He was just going to accept that this was a thing he was doing right now. 

He had needs, after all, and it was a bit hard to take care of them at the moonbase. He wasn’t sure how Magnus and Merle dealt with that- well, he did have his suspicions, what with Merle spending so much time with Lucretia, and Magnus… well, Magnus wasn’t exactly discreet, so it was less of a suspicion and more of a known fact to Taako that Magnus indeed knew how to satisfy those kinda cravings. 

Anyway.

Klarg’s cave was familiar; he’d been here before after all. There was no doorbell, not even a proper door to knock on, and so Taako just tentatively stepped inside. The scent of tea and a fire filled the inside of the cave, making it oddly homey. 

“Hello?”, Taako called out. From somewhere deeper in the cave came a bark, and then a gruff, dark voice. 

“Who’s there?”

“It’s… um, it’s me, Taako.” Taako stood by the entrance awkwardly, unsure if he wanted to move into the cave further. 

A second later though, Klarg literally ran around the corner, an enormous, toothy smile on his face. “Taako!”   
So the enchantment still worked. 

Taako smiled and waved at the bugbear who was rapidly approaching him. “Hail and well-met, buddy.” Hopefully, soon-to-be-something-more-than-buddy. 

“Taako, it’s so nice to see you! What brings you here!” Klarg stopped right in front of Taako, obviously really wanting to hug him- the twitching in his arms made that clear. “Can I offer you some tea?” 

Taako considered that for a moment, and then nodded. An offer like the one he was planning on making was probably best spoken about over a cup of tea. “Sure.”

“I have to say, it’s a real nice surprise seeing you here!”, Klarg rambled as he lead Taako back deeper into the cave, shooing away his dogs. “Here, have a seat.” 

Klarg’s, what Taako assumed to be, private quarters were actually quite cozy: a nice fire, soft furs covering stones arranged in vague furniture-like shapes, candles, an improvised tea kitchen. 

He took a seat. 

Klarg poured him some tea and handed the cup to him; it was fine, nice china. Then he sat down opposite of Taako, a broad smile on his face. 

“Thank you.” Taako played with the handle of the cup for a second before continuing. “...I wanted to talk to you.”

Klarg’s expression fell, his ears sinking a little. “Oh? Did… did something happen? Did I do something wrong?”  
He looked like a scolded dog, but in a cute kinda way. 

Taako quickly shook his head. “No! No, not that kinda talk. No. Listen. Klarg. Do you remember when you asked me if we could… maybe become lovers one day?”

Klarg’s ears immediately perked up again. “You said time would tell!”

Taako nodded solemnly. “I did.” He paused, mainly for the dramatics. “I think it’s time now.”

Klarg stared at him for a long moment, eyes growing wider. “W-what’s that supposed to mean?”

“So. Listen.” Taako put down the cup of tea, placing it on the stone coffee table. Then he rose, and slowly walked over to where Klarg sat until he stood in front of him. Sitting down, Klarg was almost as tall as Taako was standing up, and hoo boy, that did a few things to Taako’s body right now. 

He reached out and placed both hands on Klarg’s shoulders.

“Y’know how I basically live with my two best friends?” 

Klarg nodded dumbly. 

“Yeah. So. The thing is… it’s a bit hard to… y’know, bring people home when you live in what is essentially a dorm that you share with your friends, in a place where all of your co-workers live.” He ran his right hand up and down over Klarg’s strong, furry shoulder. “Sooo… I have very little chance to take care of certain… needs.” Slowly, he slid into Klarg’s lap. “And I thought you might maybe, maybe want to help me out with that.” He was laying it on thick right now, but it seemed to work- Klarg’s pupils blew wide, and he righted himself. 

“That… that sounds like something I could do, Taako.” 

“Yeah?” Taako gave Klarg a big smile, “That’s great, Klargy.” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the bugbear’s nose, or snout, or whatever. Klarg leaned into it, which was a pretty good sign in Taako’s book.   
“I just need someone who can give it to me real well, and of course the first person I thought of was you.”, he whispered, making Klarg’s ear twitch. 

“I will, Taako, I’ll give it to you as well as I can-” 

Taako shut him up by pressing his lips to Klarg’s. 

Kissing was a bit awkward at first, what with Klarg’s big teeth, but they worked it out after a minute, and after another minute, Taako’s hat was knocked off his head by Klarg’s forehead, releasing a cascade of long, blond hair down his back. 

Klarg’s hands rested on Taako’s naked thighs, the spot between where his stockings ended and his skirt begun (yeah, of course he had chosen this outfit with this outcoming in mind), but were steadily inching upwards, almost politely. 

But Taako didn’t want polite- he didn’t want to waste time. 

“No need to be gentle with me, Klargy… I won’t break.”, he whispered against the bugbear’s furry cheek. 

That elicited a low growl from Klarg, one that went right down Taako’s spine until it reached his loins. Fuck, he was so hard already. He could feel Klarg against him was, as well. 

The grip on his thighs tightened, and Taako let out a moan- he’d read that bugbears could be uninhibited, yes, ravenous during sex, and that was what he wanted. 

“Yeah- make me yours-”, he sighed when Klarg’s fingertips reached all the way under his skirt, big hands wrapping around his ass, pulling apart his buttocks. 

Taako threaded his fingers into Klarg’s thick fur, the one around his neck area, and pressed his face into the bugbear’s shoulder. This was what he’d needed all along- for someone to make him feel again, and for someone to take over control.   
There was a growl, and then a rip, and with a start, Taako realized that Klarg had ripped his panties apart.   
The sheer power of that made his dick throb, hard. 

Klarg tossed the two pieces of fabric carelessly to the side, and then, without a warning, stood, lifting Taako into the air like he weighed nothing, making him yelp.   
“Hold on.”, he told him gruffly.

Klarg’s bed was a rectangular slab of stone, covered with even more furs, soft and fluffy and cozy-looking. Not that Taako was planning on cuddling up in there.

Klarg put him down in front of it, and, before Taako could do anything, turned him around with two strong hands on his hips. Taako’s breath hitched- he knew bugbears mostly did it from behind like this but-

He stopped thinking when Klarg gently pushed between his shoulder blades, forcing him to bend over forward, and then lifted the hem of his skirt so Taako was entirely exposed. 

“Klarg-”, he whined, not even knowing what he meant to say- ‘proceed’, maybe, or ‘just like this’. 

It got stuck in his throat when he felt a hot, big, broad tongue run from the back of his balls all the way up over his hole. 

He shuddered, moan sounding shaky. Klarg’s tongue was rougher than a human’s, but also… wetter. 

The noises Klarg made were not unlike any other big animal, low growls and the absolutely obscene noise of his tongue against Taako’s hole as he brought Taako closer to what felt like the astral plane with every lick. 

All Taako could do was dig his fingers into the furs on Klarg’s bed and moan, letting out some of the pleasure building inside him. 

He could feel saliva drip down his thighs after a while; there would be no need for a grease spell later. 

When Klarg pulled back, Taako used the moment to stand upright again and turn, facing the bugbear.   
Klarg’s pupils were entirely blown, black encompassing the entirety of his eyes- it was beautiful in a wild sort of way.   
“Taako-”, Klarg panted; there was spit stuck in the fur below his chin. 

Taako reached out and popped open the belt above the massive bulge in Klarg’s pants, anticipation making his hands a little shaky. While Klarg obediently got rid of his pants, Taako used the opportunity to slide out of both his skirt and his blouse- as nice as they looked, he really didn’t want to ruin either. 

When he looked up again, he was met with a sight that made his mouth water- Klarg’s enormous, thick cock, rock hard and glistening pink, standing out from the surrounding fur. It was a bit different from a human, or for that matter, elf cock: it had no foreskin, was a little more tapered, and there was a sort of lose bit of skin right at the base of it.   
Taako knew his bugbear biology: this was going to inflate and become a knot. He shuddered at the idea of it, his own erection throbbing. 

Klarg looked like he wanted to say something as they took their time looking at each other’s bodies, but all that seemed to come out was another growl. 

“Fuck me.”, Taako said. 

They crashed into each other, kissing again, and Taako went down on the bed, Klarg following, holding himself above Taako.   
Taako spread his legs- Klarg was so broad that it felt like he was doing the splits- and wrapped them around the bugbear’s waist, pulling him in. 

He was still wet from Klarg’s expert tongue-work before, but it wasn’t quite enough- Klarg was so fucking big; Taako winced a little when the tip breached his hole. 

“Wait- slow down-”

Klarg immediately stopped in his tracks, eyes on Taako’s face. 

“I need-” Taako screwed his eyes shut in concentration, and cast a grease spell on himself and Klarg- it was effective enough that Klarg immediately slipped a few inches deeper into him, making Taako gasp for air and squirm against the furs under his back. 

“S-slow…”, he managed to push out between ragged breaths. Klarg obeyed, even though Taako could see how hard it was for him.   
Inch by inch, Klarg buried himself into Taako’s ass, filling him up. 

Taako wondered if he’d ever had sex with anyone this big, and then he wondered if he’d be able to sit tomorrow, and then he stopped wondering about anything because Klarg was all the way inside him and Taako felt full enough to burst. 

Klarg let out a soft, questioning noise- he was obviously not capable of words anymore. Taako nodded, though, having understood the unasked question, and Klarg slowly started moving.

A shudder of pleasure so overwhelming that it made Taako whimper went through him at the first deep thrust. Klarg answered it with a growl of his own. 

Every thrust made Taako clench, his own erection straining hard and leaking against his stomach. His hands had gone to his chest, playing with his nipples, enhancing the sensation even further, making him see stars behind closed eyelids. 

Klarg’s thrusts soon sped up, and they were deep, hard, and fast, accentuated with growl and pants that sent shudders down Taako’s spine.   
He could feel that Klarg was getting closer when his fucking became more frantic, less coordinated- Taako didn’t even care that he hadn’t come yet, because frankly, it wouldn’t take much longer anyway- 

He reached out, holding on to Klarg’s broad shoulders, bracing himself, whimpering and moaning and begging for Klarg to come into him. 

And Klarg did.   
Going rigid, letting out a growl that made the cave walls shake, he came- and kept coming.   
The first gush of come felt like nothing but a throb inside Taako- but then, the knot on the base of Klarg’s dick inflated, locking Klarg inside of Taako, and filling Taako so much that he came immediately, crying out, making a mess all over his own stomach and shooting hard enough to hit his own chin.   
His ass throbbed around Klarg, forcing another wave of come out of him- Taako, distantly, remembered having read about that, too; the amount of come that bugbears discarded during orgasm was much bigger than any other creature’s.   
It was hot and sticky and amazing, and the sheer knowledge, the sheer naughtiness of it all made Taako whimper again and sent an almost painful throb through his spent cock. 

They lay together, Klarg still stuck, both of them panting, Taako seeing stars, pretty sure he’d be unable to walk OR sit the next few days. Worth it, though. 

Klarg, too, seemed to come to- he lifted his head a bit, and looked down unto Taako, a drowsy expression on his face. 

“You’re really tight…” 

Taako couldn’t help the breathless, spent laugh. “That’s because you’re enormous.” 

Klarg let out a soft hum.

“...so, how long are we gonna be stuck like this?”, Taako asked. Not that it didn’t feel good. 

Klarg, before answering, rolled them over carefully until Taako was resting on top of a furry mountain of muscle. “...a while. Half an hour, or an hour at most.” 

Taako just nodded, nuzzling his cheek into the thick fur on Klarg’s chest. He was spent, and comfortable, and Klarg still buried so deep inside him was equal parts hot and… weirdly comforting.   
“Alrighty… I-”, he was interrupted by a yawn breaking out of him, “...I think I’m gonna take a nap now, then.” 

Klarg chuckled, and Taako could feel it all the way through his body. 

\- 

He woke to Klarg moving a little under him.   
He felt sticky, and sore, but still warm and cozy. 

The knot in his ass was considerably less inflated now- Taako wondered how long he’d slept. 

He lifted his head.   
Under him, Klarg also looked a little bleary-eyed, but happy. “Hi.” 

“Hi.” Taako yawned again, stretching a little. “...is your dick done?”

Klarg let out a low, rumbly laughter. “Yeah, it’s done.”

“So, how are we gonna do this?”, Taako asked. He could feel a lot of wetness around his ass. 

Klarg shrugged a little. “I guess I’ll just pull out. You can take a bath if you want to.”, he added with a bit of an apologetic expression. 

Taako took a moment to consider it.   
He could feel that he was basically filled to the brim with come… and if he was honest, that was kind of hot.   
His now well-rested dick gave a curious throb against Klarg’s stomach.   
“I don’t want to wash it away, though.”, he admitted, and he could feel Klarg tense under him. 

“...alright.”, the bugbear replied after a moment. 

Taako sat up on top of him, and with determination, looked down at him. “Ready?”

Klarg nodded. 

Taako moved upwards, causing Klarg’s cock to slip out of him, followed by a gush of come- hot and sticky. But then, Taako immediately clenched, hoping to keep a good amount inside of him. 

Getting off the bed was a little hard, but he managed with Klarg’s help.   
Klarg himself looked as sticky and dirtied as Taako felt- but also extremely, gruffly satisfied. 

Taako got dressed (sans panties- they were ripped up for good), and declined the invitation to stay for another cup of tea. 

“Y’know, you’re free to visit me whenever you, uh, need someone to take care of you.”, Klarg told him as they stood by the entrance to the cave. 

Taako gave him a grin and reached out to pat his enormous pec. “...I will, big boy. See you.” 

“See you.” Klarg sounded a little star struck, still. 

As Taako walked away, he could feel the first gush of come spill out and run down the insides of his thighs, making them sticky.   
He felt so fucking sated, and happy, and tired.

**Author's Note:**

> leave kudos or a comment to let me know I'm not the only pervert here?
> 
> (also I kinda wanna write more about Magnus/Taako and Kravitz/Taako AND various threesomes so.. idk let me know what you'd think of that??)


End file.
